I always thought that Im a good person. I have a high consideration toward people. But... its only my thought.
End of last month, i had been challenged to prove what is my character. I was working at site on that saturday. And naughty me, I teased one of my colleague until he feel that I bullied him. and I took it lightly.
The test come when we are on the way back, I asked him if he can drive me to lavender since he was going to send another colleague to bukit panjang. and he said its too far since he need to pass the car to another colleague. and I over heard their conversation that he is willing to send the car to punggol.
Then immediately I complained to him. Its not fair, you are going to punggol but you resist to send me to lavender. then sortly after that i raise my voice pretend that im angry with him. then silent.
Yes, i feel bad about it. I shouldnt play hard on this. This incident really teach me to be a good example to the world. I mean not being fake, but really be a better person.
last nite, the word that keep ringing in my head is that im the ambassador. Like what Ahok (deputy governor of jakarta) said in his interview with "Mata Najwa". He is just being the example on what people should do because he is called to do that.
Me, as Y ambassador, has been called many times, many years, did i response to the call?
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Monday, July 29, 2013
3 nuggets of truth
Last saturday we were having a great celebration of mid year of Hope Indo group. At least for me, its a blessing to be reminded back on the things that we should focus on.
here what mike shared during the service.
1. Look within - Examine our heart
2. Look out - See the bigger picture (Look on what can benefit others)
3. Look up - Focus on God
Why this things become so important to me? Because it become a confirmation to me. Y has been talked about my heart. To have a pure heart, to search within my heart.
This has been become my pray:
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
(Ps 139:23-24)
And not long ago, I had been praying for my sister. She is in confusion on what she supposes to do. what is her direction, her vision. I asked Y to help to reveal to her and guide her through. But Y answered me that His vision is only for people not for own satisfaction.
In life, we will only reach the peak of satisfaction of life when we do things for people. we serve people.
It strikes me as most of us will thing what is benefited to our own. No wonder I still cant know my vision. Because my focus is what can I achieve with my life for the shake of my own satisfaction.
As we can see around us that many success people who fell satisfy with their work when they know they do things not for their own.
Many rich people cant satisfy with what they have, though we call them success. because they can't satisfy themselves.
All this while we had been "tebalik" on the 3 things above.
1. Look within - we search people heart.
2. Look in - we see the picture of ourselves alone. (what can benefit us)
3. Look down - We ask God to look to us.
My personal opinion, we had been deceive by our own flesh. we expect people to have a good heart, and can do something for us. we look for something that can benefit us but if it require us to pay some price, we reluctant to do.
And we ask God to focus on our need, our life, our satisfaction.
I never realise that Mike will share that 3 nuggets last saturday. But it brings some enlighten for me.
I thank Y also, for being so patient toward me. And be bother to mold me.
1. Look within - Examine our heart
2. Look out - See the bigger picture (Look on what can benefit others)
3. Look up - Focus on God
Why this things become so important to me? Because it become a confirmation to me. Y has been talked about my heart. To have a pure heart, to search within my heart.
This has been become my pray:
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
(Ps 139:23-24)
And not long ago, I had been praying for my sister. She is in confusion on what she supposes to do. what is her direction, her vision. I asked Y to help to reveal to her and guide her through. But Y answered me that His vision is only for people not for own satisfaction.
In life, we will only reach the peak of satisfaction of life when we do things for people. we serve people.
It strikes me as most of us will thing what is benefited to our own. No wonder I still cant know my vision. Because my focus is what can I achieve with my life for the shake of my own satisfaction.
As we can see around us that many success people who fell satisfy with their work when they know they do things not for their own.
Many rich people cant satisfy with what they have, though we call them success. because they can't satisfy themselves.
All this while we had been "tebalik" on the 3 things above.
1. Look within - we search people heart.
2. Look in - we see the picture of ourselves alone. (what can benefit us)
3. Look down - We ask God to look to us.
My personal opinion, we had been deceive by our own flesh. we expect people to have a good heart, and can do something for us. we look for something that can benefit us but if it require us to pay some price, we reluctant to do.
And we ask God to focus on our need, our life, our satisfaction.
I never realise that Mike will share that 3 nuggets last saturday. But it brings some enlighten for me.
I thank Y also, for being so patient toward me. And be bother to mold me.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Love one another - good reminder
Have a little time to listen from Y after I feel do not want to love people. And here is the surprise from Him.
GET INVOLVED!
Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. - Heb 13:1
We live in a culture that is reluctant to get involved. We leave well enough alone. We steer clear of messy, complicated interaction with others. We mind our own business, and keep to ourselves--even those of us who go by the name of Christian.
We're like the fellow on the bus who refused to tell another passenger what time it was. After being asked several times, he turned his back, and the young man went on and asked someone else. At the next stop, someone who had seen the exchange scolded the man, and this was his rationale: "If I had told that young man what time it was, we would have struck up a conversation, and I probably would have liked him. Before long, he would have gotten himself invited to supper, and my beautiful daughter would have met him. The two of them would probably fall in love, and want to get married - but I don't want my daughter marrying a man who can't afford a watch!"
We intuitively know that involvement could prove expensive - so we shut ourselves off in the name of caution. The only problem is, we are commanded to love the brethren. In fact, the mark of a Christian is the love we have for one another. It is almost impossible for someone who has experienced the love and grace of God to live in isolation - but some of us do a pretty good job. Instead of hiding, get out of your comfort zone and reach out to those in your circle of influence with the love of Christ. It is dangerous, yes. But the only place outside of heaven where we can be safe from all the dangers of love is hell.
GET INVOLVED!
Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. - Heb 13:1
We live in a culture that is reluctant to get involved. We leave well enough alone. We steer clear of messy, complicated interaction with others. We mind our own business, and keep to ourselves--even those of us who go by the name of Christian.
We're like the fellow on the bus who refused to tell another passenger what time it was. After being asked several times, he turned his back, and the young man went on and asked someone else. At the next stop, someone who had seen the exchange scolded the man, and this was his rationale: "If I had told that young man what time it was, we would have struck up a conversation, and I probably would have liked him. Before long, he would have gotten himself invited to supper, and my beautiful daughter would have met him. The two of them would probably fall in love, and want to get married - but I don't want my daughter marrying a man who can't afford a watch!"
We intuitively know that involvement could prove expensive - so we shut ourselves off in the name of caution. The only problem is, we are commanded to love the brethren. In fact, the mark of a Christian is the love we have for one another. It is almost impossible for someone who has experienced the love and grace of God to live in isolation - but some of us do a pretty good job. Instead of hiding, get out of your comfort zone and reach out to those in your circle of influence with the love of Christ. It is dangerous, yes. But the only place outside of heaven where we can be safe from all the dangers of love is hell.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Growing up
It was amazing to have a chance to serve the people in Batam. and the special things about it that we serve kids.
This is not my first time went for mission trip in batam. but last saturday is my first time with a big number of kids. what I can say its really tiring. it's already monday, but I still feel so tired. my legs pain.
Gosh.. but well, what have I learn during this trip?? I was being reminded about children. and I was reminded about a picture of Jesus with children. God wants children to come to Him. to know Him, to talk to Him and also to listen to Him. that what God wants from us as an adult.
But there is a doubt that come into people's minds. why when we are just know God, GOd seems so near. what we asked He make it ready for us. He answered prayer. we are like His favorite. but now... He seems so far, dont answered my prayer fast, and even sometimes i feel alone.
I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready.
1 Cor 3:2
This verse suddenly pop up into my mind. and I was reminded the cycle of human since they born till they grow up.
First stage, baby become the center of the parent life. parent make sure baby wont get hungry, wont get uncomfortable. when the baby cry, the people surround him will try to fix what is not rite. they eat liquid food for easy digestion.
Second stage, as the baby grow, parent will teach the baby on how to be independent. learn how to walk. learn how to grab the milk bottle, learn how to tell the parent if they want to pee. parent still play big role to help them with daily routine. they start to take not so solid food.
Third stage, kids learn how to play. they are not so dependent in term of walk, sleep, play, eat. they know how to do it. parent just need to observe from far. and make sure they know what they are doing. Parent guide them through. they can eat solid food but the food intake still watch by parent coz they do not know the impact of the food.
Fourth stage, i will jump to when the baby grown up to be an adult. they can do whatever they want. they are expected to be independent. not only for what food they take. but also how to find food. they start to "suffer" to find food. because they can find their own food.
when i try to reflect on this 4 stages. i try to relate this with the verse that paul said. in our spiritual walk with God, we also go through stages. when we know
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Campaign
I just back from my hometown in Palembang. Next month there is election for the governor in South Sumatera area.
You can see a lot of banner on the road, and every party try to put their candidate poster in every corner of the city even kampong. They state their promise to the public, they put their picture of them with the needy people. Everything look so nice and sweet.
People talked about it. They talked about the current governor which not doing his duty well and even not visualise their promises.
During my way to the airport back to Batam (I took flight from Palembang to batam then took ferry to SG), my mum gave a comment which make me think of myself.
"All the candidate will put their best pose of helping people during this time to win people heart. but once their elected, they won't care about people anymore. "
I paused for a moment and think about me and Y. Many times, I tried to give a lot of promises to Y when im in need. I promised Him that i will be a good girl. i will behave, i will do my devotion, i will pray, i will never skip my service, and the promises go on and on. But when i get what i want or if im not in desperate mode, i tend to forget all my promises. And even i will compromise with it.
I feel Im no different with all the candidate for the election. I just want the blessing but not the hard work.
The governor want the authority, want the facility, want the money, but some of them forgotten their real duty. their real calling of governor.
We as a christian, want the title of God's children, want the blessing, want everything from God, but we tend to forget our calling as His children.
Yup, i learn to see God not as an object of blessing over my life. but learn to see Him as God and savior.
You can see a lot of banner on the road, and every party try to put their candidate poster in every corner of the city even kampong. They state their promise to the public, they put their picture of them with the needy people. Everything look so nice and sweet.
People talked about it. They talked about the current governor which not doing his duty well and even not visualise their promises.
During my way to the airport back to Batam (I took flight from Palembang to batam then took ferry to SG), my mum gave a comment which make me think of myself.
"All the candidate will put their best pose of helping people during this time to win people heart. but once their elected, they won't care about people anymore. "
I paused for a moment and think about me and Y. Many times, I tried to give a lot of promises to Y when im in need. I promised Him that i will be a good girl. i will behave, i will do my devotion, i will pray, i will never skip my service, and the promises go on and on. But when i get what i want or if im not in desperate mode, i tend to forget all my promises. And even i will compromise with it.
I feel Im no different with all the candidate for the election. I just want the blessing but not the hard work.
The governor want the authority, want the facility, want the money, but some of them forgotten their real duty. their real calling of governor.
We as a christian, want the title of God's children, want the blessing, want everything from God, but we tend to forget our calling as His children.
Yup, i learn to see God not as an object of blessing over my life. but learn to see Him as God and savior.
Monday, May 20, 2013
He is the center
It was just a usual LG that night where we had sharing time, P&W, and also teaching. But during the P&W, there was something changes my perspective about me and Him. The theme during the P&W was God is our protector. He will help us through in all circumstances that we face.
Well, it true. I believe that He can do that. Or I can say it’s very easy for Him to do that. Then suddenly there was a voice in my heart asking myself,
“All this while we focus on how God can help us. How God can please us. And often or not we are trap of coming to church or coming to God because we want Him to please us. Let it through helping us in our situation, refresh us once again, and give us the peace and joy. But is that all what is the Christianity all about? Is that all the relationship between our life and God is all about?”
In the bible, there are many times mentioned that God close to those who pleases Him.
What??? Are not those who call upon His name??
That night I was learn that we need to please him.
The following night during my devotion, I was reminded of a song “Jesus is the center of it all”. Then in my devotion material talking about paradigms where it mention that people thought that all the planet in the universe revolve around earth. But the fact that earth revolves around sun. It was so controversial during that time because what they believe has been turning upside down.
I was imagining how the sun be the center of this Milky Way. Where earth not center of it.
In the lyric of Jesus be the center
Jesus at the center of it all
Jesus at the center of it all
From beginning to the end
It will always be, it's always been You Jesus
Jesus
Jesus at the center of it all
Jesus at the center of it all
From beginning to the end
It will always be, it's always been You Jesus
Jesus
Nothing else matters, nothing in this world will do
Jesus You're the center, everything revolves around You
Jesus You, at the center of it all
The center of it all
Jesus be the center of my life
Jesus be the center of my life
From beginning to the end
It will always be, it's always been You Jesus
Jesus
Nothing else matters, nothing in this world will do
Jesus You're the center, everything revolves around You
Jesus You
Nothing else matters, nothing in this world will do
Jesus You're the center, everything revolves around You
Jesus You
From my heart to the Heavens
Jesus be the center
It's all about You
Yes it's all about You
[x4]
So Jesus be the center of Your church
Jesus be the center of Your church
And every knee will bow
And every tongue shall confess You Jesus, Jesus
Say His name, Jesus, Jesus...
From my heart to the Heavens
Jesus be the center
It's all about You
Yes it's all about You
And when I try to relate the song and what I had read and also what I had learned on the LG night itself, I can see the bigger picture.
So here the conclusion that I can make.
Many times I always tot that God should please me. He should help me in my problem, He should provide me with my need, and He should clear my path so that I will walk with Him.
But it is not. He should be the focus. We should revolve around Him. He is the Sun of our life. We need Sun. Sun does not need earth. But earth does.
Are we going to stay in the stage where we just wait till God disappear from our life than we know that we need Him? And we should please Him. We should please Him like how when a guy tries to please his “aim” GF who he wants to win her heart. We want to please Him as we want to please our boss, our parent, the president who we know they have some power over our life.
Some people might question: “then what is it about the Love of God?”
What life that we have right now is the Love of God. Even though now when we think highly about ourselves, He gives us the chance to know the truth. Though earth think that sun revolves around him, but sun continue to give his light to the earth.
It will start from my heart to revolve around Him.
Well, it true. I believe that He can do that. Or I can say it’s very easy for Him to do that. Then suddenly there was a voice in my heart asking myself,
“All this while we focus on how God can help us. How God can please us. And often or not we are trap of coming to church or coming to God because we want Him to please us. Let it through helping us in our situation, refresh us once again, and give us the peace and joy. But is that all what is the Christianity all about? Is that all the relationship between our life and God is all about?”
In the bible, there are many times mentioned that God close to those who pleases Him.
What??? Are not those who call upon His name??
That night I was learn that we need to please him.
The following night during my devotion, I was reminded of a song “Jesus is the center of it all”. Then in my devotion material talking about paradigms where it mention that people thought that all the planet in the universe revolve around earth. But the fact that earth revolves around sun. It was so controversial during that time because what they believe has been turning upside down.
I was imagining how the sun be the center of this Milky Way. Where earth not center of it.
In the lyric of Jesus be the center
Jesus at the center of it all
Jesus at the center of it all
From beginning to the end
It will always be, it's always been You Jesus
Jesus
Jesus at the center of it all
Jesus at the center of it all
From beginning to the end
It will always be, it's always been You Jesus
Jesus
Nothing else matters, nothing in this world will do
Jesus You're the center, everything revolves around You
Jesus You, at the center of it all
The center of it all
Jesus be the center of my life
Jesus be the center of my life
From beginning to the end
It will always be, it's always been You Jesus
Jesus
Nothing else matters, nothing in this world will do
Jesus You're the center, everything revolves around You
Jesus You
Nothing else matters, nothing in this world will do
Jesus You're the center, everything revolves around You
Jesus You
From my heart to the Heavens
Jesus be the center
It's all about You
Yes it's all about You
[x4]
So Jesus be the center of Your church
Jesus be the center of Your church
And every knee will bow
And every tongue shall confess You Jesus, Jesus
Say His name, Jesus, Jesus...
From my heart to the Heavens
Jesus be the center
It's all about You
Yes it's all about You
And when I try to relate the song and what I had read and also what I had learned on the LG night itself, I can see the bigger picture.
So here the conclusion that I can make.
Many times I always tot that God should please me. He should help me in my problem, He should provide me with my need, and He should clear my path so that I will walk with Him.
But it is not. He should be the focus. We should revolve around Him. He is the Sun of our life. We need Sun. Sun does not need earth. But earth does.
Are we going to stay in the stage where we just wait till God disappear from our life than we know that we need Him? And we should please Him. We should please Him like how when a guy tries to please his “aim” GF who he wants to win her heart. We want to please Him as we want to please our boss, our parent, the president who we know they have some power over our life.
Some people might question: “then what is it about the Love of God?”
What life that we have right now is the Love of God. Even though now when we think highly about ourselves, He gives us the chance to know the truth. Though earth think that sun revolves around him, but sun continue to give his light to the earth.
It will start from my heart to revolve around Him.
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